Little Old Men in Hats Are A Danger

2/20/2008 This fact is true. I dare all of you to begin to pay attention to who are the worst drivers out there. Little old men in hats. I kid you not! Followed closely by little old men without hats, followed by little old ladies who can barely see over the dash. Next in the list is, of course, young bucks. They are dangerous but in a different way. They are far more likely to plow you over in their certainty that they own the road. Little old men in hats are just simply oblivious to the fact that there's any one else on the road at all.

It was this FACT that contributed to my unfortunate encounter with a parking pole in the Grant Park shopping centre parking lot. I was cutting across the parking lot when I spotted a little old man zooming up towards me to my left. I shoulder checked to see what he was up to, if I needed to be worried. Perhaps he was unaware of my presence and our obvious collision course. As I turned my gaze forward again, didn't that pole that had been quite comfortably to the right of my car, jump out right in front of me! How awkward. I braked madly. Being Winnipeg, I should have known it would be to no avail. I merely slipped forward until my front bumper stopped my forward progress. Bloody hell! Now began the endless round of Manitoba Public Insurance (DON'T get me started on THAT one), body shops, car rental places and inconvenience.

And that damn little old man in a hat didn't even stop to help.

A danger. They're all a danger.

So let me get this straight...you're blaming a little old man for causing an accident...by driving near you?

You even ADMIT your own mistake by 'I should have known...'

Look, I've seen you drive, woman, and you have enough problems on your own -- you don't need to worry about someone else's driving.

I sentence you back to driving school.

Posted by: Ryan on 2/25/2008 9:07:34 PM

Ahem, I would like to inform you, Mr McFadden, that I am, in fact, an excellent driver. One cannot discount leaping poles and insane little old men as minor distractions, if you don't mind. Plus, this is the first accident I've had since university when . . hmmm, there was ice involved there too . .Conclusion? Move away from Winnipeg immediately to somewhere without ice! Done and done!

Posted by: Bev on 2/25/2008 11:56:30 PM

I think that moving is in the best interests of all concerned. You, the little old men in hats, and all errant leaping poles.

Oh, and it wouldn't hurt to get away from all that bloody cold and snow, now would it?

Thinking of Edmonton? (Mad cackles of hysterical laughter)

Posted by: Eileen on 4/1/2008 2:17:26 PM

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